2010: Fail?

Fans of all things, primarily sports, love failures. Whether its memorable late season collapses of the NY Mets, the term "bust" as in Jamarcus "oh, codeine is illegal?" Russel, or the dismantling of Brett Favre's body, people find true enjoyment in watching other people fail.

So, as we wrap up the last few days of this fine year, let's take a look at the top 3 memorable failures from 2010, and there were a lot. If we're  missing any, please shoot us a line through the comment box.

1. Cleveland. Sure, fat boy Drew Carey made the tag line "Cleveland Rocks," but who ever believed that? Well, they did have "The King" in their court for seven years. Cavaliers fans thought that they were ready to take on a world championship. They were just a few pieces short of a dynasty. So, when his contract expired, all the fans "knew" that LBJ23 was going to be a Cav for life. What happened? He took his talents to South Beach. On top of his talents, he took every bit of hope out of the fans hearts. Cleveland: failure.

2. Brett Favre's junk. Sexting became a hot topic this year. No one became more famous for it than Brett "am I dead yet" Favre. He decided, back in 2008 when he ruined the Jets season, that it would be a good idea to send to Jen Sterger, Jet's assistant, a photo of his man junk (while wearing crocs). Result? Well, she didn't like it. She reported it to the NFL and the guy is now in hot water. Aside from breaking every bone in his body, Favre is now on the verge of legal punishment and losing his family. Poor old guy.

3. Tiger Woods. Guy went from the top of the world in every facet; highest paid male athlete, best golfer, most marketable athlete, and just an all around great guy. BOOM. The truth comes out in the form of a nine iron to the skull. His snow bunny Swiss wife had enough. One affair, eh? Two, eh? Sixteen? Holy shit man, things are reallly bad. He checked into rehab for sex addiction, lost his family, settled for about 100mil through the divorce, and now can barely make the tour. For the first time in his career he didn't even win a major. Guy had problems even qualifying. Don't bring your personal life to the office, Tyguh.

Honorable Mention:
-Cam Newton winning the Heisman although his dad got caught for trying to generate chedduh while pimping out his son.
-Ken Griffey Jr, coming out of retirement, to only retire again after his teammates reported him sleeping in the clubhouse when his number was called to pinch hit
- Jayson Werth. Money can't buy you happiness, and playing for the Nationals can't either
- New Delhi Commonewealth Games. If you haven't already read about the treacherous preparations and disgusting plumbing issues, I will spare you

Are those her feet?

Jets lost to the Bears, yet, still made the playoffs due to a Jacksonville loss to the terrible Redskins. However, the NY media is still far more focused on the smellier things in life, such as the possibility that Mrs. Ryan may be in a softcore porno.
Rex Ryan may or may not be the voice behind the camera. The woman looks awfully close to his wife:

Brick City

Everyone loves Monday Night Football. Even if the game is irrelevant this late into the season- tonight's matchup is with a Vikings team that is out of contention and a Bears team that has pretty much wrapped up the NFC north- it is still very enjoyable.
However, tonights game has a bit of romance in the backstory. Sure, the two teams are heated rivals. Sure, Patrick Ramsey is getting his first start since 1993. But-the biggest thing about tonight- the fact that the teams will be playing on concrete.
After the highly publicized dismantling of the Minnesota Metrodome, the Commissioner decided that the game would best be played at the University of Minnesota; outside.
The weather forecast calls for a dumping of 4-7 inches of snow from right about now to gametime at 8. The game-time temperature is expected to be 19 degrees with a wind chill of minus-1. Snow began falling at approximately 10 a.m. CT.
So, is this hypocritical? In a league that prides itself on player protection-see previous post- how can they allow the players to go full strength on a concrete field? Sure, we all have played games before in the snow, that is no issue. But when you are talking about frozen fields and Brian Urlacher, someone is going to get a concussion.
So, Mr. Roger "that'll be $25,000 please" Goodell, you better have a plan in line tonight when you lose some highly marketable players to the frozen gopher.

Bringing Sexy (rexy) Back

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Coach Shanahan made a big "uh-oh." He decided recently to suspend, without pay, Albert "should I sign the $23mil contract extension?" Haynesworth. Now, after offering a Donovan McNabb $80mil contract extension, the old time coach decided to bench him too.
Starting in his place? None other than interception king Rex Grossman.

Most recently, Rex was known for his hero to zero season with the Bears. Since then, he has made a nice backup for the Texans and now the Redskins. But a starter? Lets be serious.
However, Shanahan ain't no dummy. Maybe he realizes that the Skins season is over, majority of the money they spent went to busts, and the only positive thing looming in their future is a high draft choice.
Rexy gets the start vs the Cowboys. Coincidence? I think not..

I think it calls for a celebration! Rex, serve one up (a drink, not a pick)

Rivalry? Quite a stretch...

Not too many great things going on as of late for NYC area sports. Jets have shat the bed two weeks in a row. Giants are injury prone and destined for failure behind the Manning interception curse. The Yanks didn't land their guy in Lee, and Yankee fans are cursing the high heavens to destroy anything Philadelphia.
Mets suck, and quite frankly, hockey sucks.
So that leaves us with the wild world of the NBA. Tonight, the hot-streaked Knicks take on the unforgiving Celtics. Normally, basketball wouldn't be something that I'd write about, but after noticing the onrush of basketball fans in midtown today, I felt obligated.
People are coining this matchup as a "rivalry." Cmon- we have to draw the line somewhere. A rivalry is Yanks/Sox, Jets/Pats, Rangers/Devils- teams that for years have hated one another. Calling the game tonight a rivalry is taking away from the word itself. When the Knicks were good, the Celtics sucked. Since the Celtics have been good, the Knicks have sucked. Its barely a quarter into the season and ESPN is already making this a "marquee matchup."
Marquee?! These are the same Knicks that pay Eddie Curry $15mil/year to stay out of the locker room.

Regardless who wins tonight, and truly, I could care less, please realize that basketball is an 82 game season. One night doesn't make it a rivalry.

Time to jump off the cliff..

Lee train. Man, this sucks. Just as Yankee fans thought that Andy Pettitte could pull a Roger Clemens type- $1 mil a game for the last 30 games of the season just to win another world series, we need him back for the start of the season.
Cliff Lee decided last minute to sign with the "mystery team" known as the Philadelphia Phillies. So now it goes CC, shitty AJ, Phil "man i better grow up quick" Hughes and then who knows. Javy is gone, this dude Nova is a nov-body, and Pettitte is already golfing in the Houston retirement center.

Crap, crap, and crap. The Phillies make the heat look like underdogs. The Phila rotation makes the All-Star lineup, year in and year out. When your number 4 is a former World Series MVP, you know you got it goin for ya.

The Yanks still have hope. With the bolstered roster of the BoSox, there really is not any other challengers in the AL. So, win the games you are supposed to, and screw the sox, and its gonna look like the rematch of the 09 World Series.

For all Phillie fans who "saw this coming," I wish this were you:

Somethin phishy...

All of the press from yesterday's arse wooping has to do with the trip* from the strength and conditioning coach on the Jets sideline who tripped a rookie cornerback. I guess that is a good and bad thing: good thing because it seems that no one cares that the Jets lost the the terrible Dolphins. Bad thing because no one seems to care that the Jets lost to the terrible Dolphins.

Everyone who knows sports knows the cardinal rule: you gotta beat the teams that you are supposed to beat. The Jets, in my opinion, were surely overhyped, but that wasn't their fault. The HBO documentary paired with marquee free agent signings led the NYC media to frame the Jets as Superbowl favorites far before the first game with a second year coach and a second year quarterback.
I don't get it. You get sooba womped by the rival Pats, then you come out less than a week later and kick a field goal on 4th and 9 in the 4th losing by 7, with only 5 minutes left to go? Shotty- you're days are numbered man. You were known for great stuff with the implementation of the Brad Smith run wildcat and the great trick plays. You have now accepted your role as "the guy who runs up the gut on first and second down." Give Sanchez a chance with confidence. Don't just allow him to throw on 3rd and longs, especially when we're losing.
I thought that there was a reason we got 4 amazing wide receivers.
Better late then never to get it together, but its also shitty to be late.

F'n Giants, Con artists

45-3. Worst NFL blowout I have ever seen, not just for my hometown Jets. The Gang Green didn't show up whatsoever. I mean Green-Ellis and Woodhead looked like Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown at Auburn. Just doing whatever they wanted to do over the depleted Jets defense. Tom Brady just throwing up touchdown passes like it was his job- oh, wait, that is his job. But against the "scariest secondary in the NFL"- not ok.

So, this upcoming Sunday the Jets square off at home vs the lonley Dolphins in an act to regain the faith of their fans, myself included. If this game is anything short of a monumental blowout I will be very displeased. The Jets need to come out firing on the cost of Chad Henne and Ricky "wait, its not legalized?" Williams.

However, aside from regaining their ability and forgetting about Monday, the Jets now have another bridge to cross. The Goddang Giants, cross town rivals, just took that rivalry to a whole nother level. The Giants, who must be angry that the Jets have surpassed them as NY's football team, offered the Dolphins their practice facility to use to get ready to play the Jets.

The Miami Dolphins announced their weekly schedule for Sunday's game against the New York Jets yesterday afternoon and it's a shocker. The Dolphins will leave Miami Friday morning, conduct pressers at their hotel at 11 AM, and then hold their practice at 2 PM at the Timex Performance Center (the NY Giants practice facility.)

Well, well, well. Little baby Eli and Tom "how am I still alive, let alone an NFL head coach" Coughlin seem to have a plan in hand.

Blow it out your arse, guys, this means nothing. Call it a PR coup, but it will go no where. We all know how the Jets ball- get them pissed and you'll see their meanest side yet.

Wild Card it is!

Beast of the East

The loser will be 9-3. That is a great record. That will lead the loser to the playoffs as a wild card. That loss shouldn't effect the rest of the season that much, or, should it?
Yes goddangit. Tonight's game of the 9-2 Jets vs the 9-2 Patriots is far more than a regular season exhibition: it has home field throughout the playoffs and a division lead connected to it.
The Jets won the two teams first meeting this season, at home, in an impressive manner. However, things have changed since then. Brady got his swagger back, the team dumped Randy Ma, Benjarvis Ellis-Green became relevant. However, changes were made on the other side of the field, too. Santonio "I win games" Holmes has joined the team. Calvin Pace is back. Revis is back. Jim Leohnard is gone.
Going to make for a great game.
My prediction: Jets 34, Patriots 40.
Barn burner from start to finish. What wins this game? Special teams. Coach Westoff has the jets special teams playing, well, special. Brad Smith is Mr. Everything and the tackling unit behind McKnight and Eric Smith has been viscous. With no Jim Leohnard returning punts, or running the defense for that matter, may be a reason to worry. No big worry, though, as the Jets play as a unit rather than gifted individuals. Starwars, baby!

Go big or go home tonight, and for the Patriots, they are going to have to be the biggest they've been all season.

Re-Enter Sandman

Good News for Yankee fans. Bad news for everyone else in the AL.
Mr. Cashman did something right during the offseason for the pinstripes. Mariano Rivera, the scariest mumbo jumbo to ever close a baseball game, will be back on the Yankees for another 2 years.
The Yanks gave him $30 million over 2 years.

The rival Red Sox offered Rivera a two-year deal, $30 million deal as well, a league source told ESPNBoston.com's Gordon Edes on Friday. Cashman had no comment on Friday when asked about the Red Sox making a run at Rivera.

F'n bold if you ask me. However, dumb might be the real adjective. The Red Sox honestly thought they would court a Yankee legend? Like cmon, its no Damon were talking about. Mo's go the heart to go with the gun.

Next up, DJ. Then we can shuffle the money around to some top free agents.

Word is that CashMan has been in negotiations with big Carl Crawford. Imagine an outfield consisting of Swish, Granderson, and Crawford? Wow. Its like the AL All Star Game.

Cleveland (throws) Rocks!

Well, if LeBron didn't get stoned before tonight's matchup vs the Cavaliers, he will soon be able to say he has. King James makes his first trip back to the land of the lost since taking his talents to South Beach. Security is surely heightened as the Cav Loyals get to watch their former King in a different jersey.

Last years playoff roster for the Cavs has been barren of a lot of pieces. Coach Mike Brown is gone. Big Z is gone. Delonte West is gone. Shaq is gone. Sheet, looks like they're left with an o.k. point guard in Mo Williams and a funny looking big in Anderson Verajeo.

What to expect tonight?
I say LeBron starts slow to a roar of boos. He does not dare to do his signature entrance of the powder toss. He gets absolutely crucified every time he touches the ball. The Cavs keep it relatively close until the 4th quarter do to the involvement of the crowd.
LeBron tweets about "how surreal it was to be home" and how he "wants to thank the fans."
Then, tomorrow, all we hear from the Cavs fans is about how they don't miss LeBron and his 3-12 shooting and poor leadership. I say we just take a note from MJ.

The Los Angeles Vikings?

Ever since I have been watching sports, the idea of L.A. getting a football team has always been just speculation. The fan base is LA is very fair weather. Sure, the Lakers get a great crowd full of Biebers and DiCaprios on the sidelines, but football?
Fans from Los Angeles care about one thing: image. If there is a chance they can be shown on tv wearing a vintage Lakers t shirt that reads "Beat Boston," then they'll go to the game. However, even going to the game comes with a bit of stipulation- they will show up late and leave early.
Take a look at the other basketball team that plays in Los Angeles. The Clippers drafted Blake Griffin, human highlight reel, and they can't even come close to filling the stands. Sure, a 2-26 record isn't good, but why would a team perform at a high level if their fans don't care?
So they have the  Dodgers too. And who cares about them in Los Angeles? Ask any "true" Dodger fan to name the starting lineup. I'd imagine their answer might be "umm, Matt Kemp, Manny Ramirez.." and it will end there.

Shitty fans = shitty teams.

That being said, a lot of chatter recently has surrounded the idea of the area getting their own NFL team. The Vikings are in their final year with the Metrodome, leaving them without a home for next season.Magic Johnson appears to be on board with Leiweke. On Tuesday, Johnson announced on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" that he is partnering with AEG to bring an existing NFL team to Los Angeles.
Magic Johnson appears to be on board with Leiweke (Timberwolves owner). On Tuesday, Johnson announced on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" that he is partnering with AEG to bring an existing NFL team to Los Angeles.
Magic Johnson on the NFL is like Karl Malone on taxes.
Wow. An NFL team under ownership by Magic Johnson in Los Angeles. 3 strikes, that's out.